Wednesday, November 28, 2012

11 Months

(oops, I wrote this on October 10, 2012 and forgot to post it)
Dear Grayson,
Sigh, sob, sigh, sob.  I can't deny it anymore. You're a toddler. 
The other night I was holding you in my arms and you fell asleep. I remember it, because you do it so rarely nowadays.  I started crying because it reminded me of our first 6 weeks together. My tiny little nugget napping in my arms.  I thought back to those first weeks and I remember how joyful and terrifying they were.  When daddy went back to work the days stretched out so long and I had no idea what I was doing.  It could be scary.  I wish I could go back to that time.  As you lay on me now, sprawling out of my arms and over my legs, I barely remember those days.  They seem surreal.  I miss my little baby. 
That being said, the boy you are now is absolutely incredible and I wouldn't change one thing about you.  Although we don't cuddle to sleep nearly as often anymore, when you come over, on your own accord, and lay that darling little head on my shoulder, it just melts me.  You are the sweetest little cuddle bug and I love you so so so much. 
I'm not sure how much you weigh, but I would guess that you are about 20 lbs and 29ish inches long (you were 19 1/2 pounds on September 17th).  You are still in size three diapers and wear a mix of 6-12 and 12 month clothing.  You have 8!!! teeth.  You sleep through the night (finally) still, and you love eating. I'm slowly weaning you, but you still nurse about 4 times per day and you eat three meals a day of real food. 
You have changed SO much this last month.  You used to be so quiet, but now you can say Polly and you repeat words like Hi, Bye, Up and uh-oh.  You like to mimic us with both sounds and gestures.  If I give you two items, you will copy me and try it for yourself.  The coolest thing that you started doing this month is standing unassisted and taking your first steps.  On October 4th, out of the blue, you walked right from daddy to me.  Your confidence is greater than your ability to walk and you are a total daredevil. You just let go and see what happens often throughout the day. Crawling is still your preferred form of transportation but you practice walking a little bit every single day.  You also learned how to crawl up the stairs and are so cute when you do it.
The funniest thing you learned how to do this month was to clap. It cracks me up. Whenever music comes on or I start singing you start clapping away.  It's hysterical.  You've also learned how to "call" people on your purple phone.  When I pretend the phone is ringing you put it right up to your darling little ear.  You love to read and now you are our official page turner.  You love doing it and you know exactly when to turn the page when we read your favorite books.  A surefire way to get you to settle down is to snuggle you in my lap for a book. 
We had a lot of fun this month and it included trips to the fair, the farm, to the park, and to the circus.  You love intensely watching everything and are so aware of your surroundings.  There is nothing better than watching you grow and learn.  I'm so lucky to have you in my life.  You are the best and I love you so much.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


I know I only posted ONE picture in my 10 month update. Here's another of my handsome cutie to hold you over until month 11. ;)

10 Month Update- September 10th, 2012

Grayson Patrick you are 10 months old!

It is amazing how fast time flies (I know, I say it every month but it is so true).  You are the COOLEST kid in the entire world. I am so incredibly in love with you.  I was hoping that as you got older, leaving you at daycare for the day would get easier. It hasn't one bit. If anything, I just miss you even more now that you are so fun, loving and interactive.  I continue to day dream about going part time just so that I can spend every single second with you.  Not a lot gets done after work.  Our house isn't as clean as it used to be. Meals are no longer planned out well.  We don't hang out with friends as much.  But, I take advantage of every single second with you and I love every minute of our time together. 

You didn't visit the doctor this month, so I'm not sure of exact measurements, but I would guess that you weigh about 18 ½ pounds right now and you are about 28 inches long.  You continue to wear size 3 diapers and you fit into clothes that range between 6-12 months. 

We went back to school recently, which meant that I have to be at work at a set time every morning again.  As a result, we finally had to do a bit of crying it out (lol, despite what I said last month) because you were waking up at least 1-2 times per night.  You picked it up beautifully and starting sleeping through the night the very first night. It was a miracle and I kind of kicked myself after the fact for not doing it sooner. 

I just love 10 month old Grayson, because 10 month old Grayson is SO cuddly.  You will crawl or cruise over to me and lay your little head on my shoulder.  It really is the sweetest thing.  You do not stay still for long, but it is fun to see you initiate the cuddles.   Speaking of sitting still, you don't. You love cruising around the furniture and you have taken to cruises up and down the pool ledge at our community pool. 

Some other new accomplishments this month include the ability to point! The other day you looked up at the sky as a plane passed by. I said Grayson, that's a plane. P, P, P, plane.  You pointed right at that plane and said p, p, p.  It was incredible.  You've also starting talking a lot more and making even more sounds.  You can say the m, b, l, p, d, g and n sound pretty regularly.  You said Mama for the first time on my birthday (!) and a few weeks later you said bye bye for the first time.  You haven't repeated them much since, but we heard them as clear as day. 

You have another tooth! You now have two on the top and two on the bottom.  Some of your favorite things to do this month including playing with balls and reading books.  You have learned how to play catch you and actually rev your little arm up before you throw the ball to us. It is the CUTEST thing that we have ever seen.  Our daycare lady even taped it because she thought you looked so cute doing it. 

My sweet little Grayson! Time is going way too fast, but I feel blessed that I've gotten to love, learn about you and mother you for the last 10 months. My life is blessed because you are in it. 

I love you I love you I love you!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Happy 9 Months (only a month-ish late)

Grayson Patrick you are 9 flipping months old. Wow. 

You still rock at life and continue to make me whole world spin round and round.  The time between 8-9 months may just be my most favorite time of all.  You are so interactive and such a little snuggle bug.  Now, you crawl right over to me and put your head down on my shoulder. I just melt. Most mornings we will pull you into bed and you will just lay your head on us. It is THE cutest thing.  I am head over heels in love with you. 

Apparently our at home scale isn't great and you're smaller than we thought you were previous months. As of your 9 month check up on the 10th of August, you are 18lbs, 3oz (25th %) and 28 inches tall (45th %).  You still wear diapers that are size three and 6-12 and 9 month clothing.  I'm surprised you're only 18lbs, because you LOVE TO EAT. Seriously, food is your friend. We started you on all table food for the meals that you are home with us and you took to it immediately.  You've had the pincher grasp down for awhile now so you do a great job self feeding.  We have yet to find a food that you don't like and you've tried many, many foods.  Your favorites include yogurt, cheese, broccoli, purple grapes and turkey.  Life is a lot easier now that we can feed you right off of our plates. It also makes dining out much more enjoyable because you are quiet whenever you can sample our food.  The only downside... I cannot eat ANYTHING without you crawling over and clamoring your way up me for a taste.  Drink wise, you are still on all breast milk.  You also have two new teeth-- the front two on the top-- bringing your teeth total to five!

Again, you've changed so much this month. You are a totally different child.  Now you manuver yourself around the floor with ease.  You can get into a sitting, kneeling, and a squatting position so smoothly.  You also love to cruise around the living room and do so as long as you're holding on to at least one other object.  You look like you're an old pro, even though you just started.  It now takes you .0003 seconds to pull yourself to standing which is dangerous.  You can get into anything in a split second.  You especially love trying to steal the remote, pressing buttons on the cable box and DVD player, and trying to pull the Wii off of the TV stand.  Who needs toys when you can play with electronics, right?

You also wave, high five and are much more socially interactive.  You've been mimicking things that I show you, but now you do it all the time and with fewer repetitions.  You think it's hysterical when Polly gets hyper and you love watching me vacuum.  Your favorite toys are your stride and ride dinosaur, your fisher price activity table and your books. You love reading and looking at books.  You current favorite: That's not my Kitten. You love petting the kitten's fur at the end of the story. You also love playing patty cake and get a kick out of peek a boo. 

This month you had your first trip to Bethany beach and you LOVED the ocean.  It amazes me how well you do with loud noises and scary situations. So far we've been saved from any stranger anxiety as well. Instead, you love strolling the grocery store aisles flirting, smiling and waving at everyone that will look your way.  You are definitely a social child. 

In regards to sleeping, you are STILL up once a night. I probably could fix that, but I'm so exhausted at 2am that I'm not even sure where to start.  In the grand scheme of things, I don't really mind. It gives me an extra 20 minutes each day to hold you in my arms and I know how fast time goes.  You're basically a big boy in the blink of an eye, so I'm going to enjoy cuddling my little tiny thing for as long as I can.  Your pediatrician says that I need to stop nursing you to sleep and to put you to bed awake. It's so hard because my favorite time of day is that 1/2 that I spend nursing and rocking you to sleep. I could stare at your beautiful , sleeping face for an hour if I could, and I often do.  I could just eat up your chubby little chicks, your super long, curly lashes and the tiny little sigh noises you make as you fall asleep.  So yes, you don't sleep through the night. It is totally my fault, but I'm going to relish in it-- at least until we stop nursing. 

Grayson, I cannot believe that you've been outside of me for as long as you were inside of me. I can't remember how I even lived and survived without you, but at the same time, time just flew right by.

I love you my sweet baby boy. My darling, Graby. I love nothing more than watching you grow and learn. How did I get so lucky?

Love, Mommy 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

8 Months ALREADY!

Dear Sweet, Beautiful Grayson,

You are 8 months old (almost one). Sob. I’ve been back to work for about 3 ½ months now and this morning, it was like that first day all over again. You were the happiest, flirtiest, cutest version of yourself this morning and it took everything that I had to hand you over to someone else for the day. I really wanted to run back in sobbing and to take you back. I called daddy at least 4 times this morning to complain about it. You just get better and better every single day. Every time that I think that I can’t love you any more, you prove me wrong.

Grayson, you weigh 18ish pounds (according to our scale at home, 35th percentile) and you are 28 inches tall (50th percentile)! You wear size 6 month, 6-9, and 6-12 month sized clothes. You are in a size 3 diaper. You are still on the small side, but the doctor said that that is very common in babies that are breast fed for 8 months +. I am still in shock that I’ve managed to nurse you exclusively for 8 months now—especially while working full time. It’s taken a lot of effort, but the end goal of 12 months is in sight and it makes me sad, rather than relieved. I love those quiet moments with you. Is there anything better? This month, you had your first serving of Mexican food. You’re still primarily on purees, but when we’re out to eat, you love sampling our food. Apparently, you like enchilada chicken and Mexican rice. You love ice water and go crazy over a sip from my cup/bottles. You still nurse every 3 (ish) hours during the day and have 2 meals a day (cereal, fruit, veggies and/or yogurt) and some puffs around dinner time. In regards to sleep.. it’s a work in progress. Some nights you do well, some you don’t. On average, you’re still getting up at least once a night. You haven’t slept through the entire night (12 hrs) since you were 4/5 months old). I think the teeth have a lot to do with it. Over the last month your left incisor came in and that wasn’t fun. You currently have bulging gums and it appears as though the two top, front teeth and your other incisor are going to poke through very, very soon. 8 month olds are super active. Just taking your picture for this post took a lot of wrestling and wrangling. You sit still for approximately 3 seconds. I’m not going to lie--- caring for a 3-4 month old Grayson was exponentially easier than caring for an 8 month old Grayson. Now that you are crawling, you love being adventurous and keep us active and on our toes. We no longer lay together in bed for hours reading and singing quietly (I get about ½ hour a day maximum now). Instead, you treat me like your personal jungle gym and crawl all over me. I love it. I’m exhausted, but it’s the best kind of exhausted. I just love watching you try new things each and every day.

You seem so much happier too now that you can move and people are always remarking about how smiley and happy you are. You were always a happy baby, but you are even more so now that you are on the move. You have made so many developmental leaps this month. You are still mastering your worm crawl. You continue to bypass any/all toys and head straight for the dog’s bones, bowls, toys and any wire in sight. You are also starting to pull up and climb up on me and on other objects. You are obsessed with standing and have been for about a month. I’m scared that I’ll have an early walker on my hands based solely on the fact that you hate sitting. When I try to put you down sitting, you keep your legs up in an attempt to remain standing. You love, love, love standing for some reason. Over the last month you’ve also started to mimic us when we are playing with you. If I bang two objects together, you will take them from me and practice doing it on your own. You have also learned how to high five and you are very excited about this new development. You continue to be a man of few words, but you love shrieking. We often call your our little velociraptor because that is what you sound like. Some of your favorite things to do include going to the pool (yay pool rat), playing with your activity center, and watching “C is for Cookie” on you tube. You go crazy for that little video.

Your laugh is the CUTEST thing that we have ever heard. You love being silly and you make us laugh all of the time. When we say, “Graby, can I have a kiss?” you usually oblige . Whenever you hear music you start bobbing up and down and love dancing. It’s the coolest thing. You took your first trip this month-- a weekend camping trip with several friends. We stayed in a cabin and you had an awesome time. This trip also included your first trip to the beach. You loved the ocean! Another first was at the local gymnastics studio. They have open gym for babies and you had an absolute blast crawling through the tunnels, climbing on things and jumping on the trampoline. Jumping is one of your favorite pastimes. Month 7-8 has been amazing! I just love watching you grow, change and evolve. You are such a neat kid and the love of my life. I love everything about you Grayson Patrick! 

Love, Mama

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Grayson is 7 MONTHS!

Dear Grayson,

 Grayson Patrick you are 7 months old! I’m pretty sure 6 months came and went with the blink of an eye. You continue to rule and we thank our lucky stars for you every single day. You are growing perfectly and now round out at 17lbs, 8oz (35th %). You are 27 inches tall and in the 50th percentile for height. You currently wear clothing that is sized 6 mos, 6-12, 6-9, and 9. You wear diapers that are size 3. You seem noticeably bigger to me and are much heavier to lug around (not that that stops me--- you love to be held). You continue to drink only breast milk and now eat various baby purees, yogurt, puffs, and you’ve gnawed on your first pizza crust and a piece of French bread. You have two meals a day—breakfast at Daycare (oatmeal/fruit or yogurt) and dinner at home (veggies). You love all food and haven’t had any issue with anything that we’ve tried. You may or may not have tried Ritas Italian Ice and vanilla soft serve {you preferred Ritas—strawberry lemonade to be exact}.

You’ve made some huge developmental leaps this last month. You currently get on your hands and knees and push yourself forwards. Prior to June 10, 2012 you were scooting and spinning around like an old pro. Exactly on the 7 month mark, you mastered the army crawl and get around very, very quicky. We can lay you on the bed and you’re attacking our phone on the other side of the bed within seconds. You are so obviously a male. You love nothing more than the remote and an iPhone. You have mastered the pincher grasp and not only pick up the puffs on your highchair tray, but you also bring them to your mouth with ease. You can grasp anything and everything, including a daily attempt at my iced coffee straw. You sit up much easier now and are starting to pull up on us.

You are so fun to play with and you really, really respond to us now. You have started to become really ticklish and you laugh whenever we tickle your (very) meaty thighs. You love playing peek-a-boo and get a huge kick out of it every single time. Your laugh is so adorable and contagious. You smile so big and are the happiest baby around. Of course you have your moments and have learned to whine a lot more than you used to, but when you smile (and you do it a lot) it’s contagious.

You love playing now and you are obsessed with jumping around in your jumparoo and could spend hours in there at a time (and reportedly do at daycare). You also love your stacking cups, Sophie the giraffe, and taking walks in the stroller.

I have an awful singing voice, but my singing always calms you down right away. At night, you prefer twinkle, twinkle. You also love when we sing the Grayson, Grayson, Grayson song (sung to the tune of “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle- LMFAO Sexy and I know it.” <-- I know, appropriate for a baby, right? You crack up every time and smile so big. You are also partial to Pop Goes the Weasel and love constant entertainment from Mom and Dad. You still aren’t particularly vocal, but you shriek and squeal with delight pretty regularly. This month you took your first dip in the pool and although you were unsure at first, you like it now. You love being outside and you’re a total people watcher. You also met your great grandmother, Veronica for the first time.

Grayson Patrick, I love you so much. There is nothing in this world that compares to the happiness that you bring me. I feel so lucky to have a son. Nothing compares to the bond that I share with you, and I hope that it ALWAYS stays that way. Nothing compares to having you for a son. You rule! You make me smile! You make my whole world!

I love you tons and tons, Mommy

Friday, June 1, 2012

Grayson is 6 Months (A bit late)

Dear Grayson,


I know I say this every month, but seriously—how are you 6 months old already? I fondly remember the tiny little thing that I brought home from the hospital so long ago.  I often miss how you would curl up onto my chest all day long for your daily cat naps.  Although I miss the newborn stage, I wouldn't change a thing because the Grayson that we have now is just SO much fun. 


You are so alert. You are so interactive and you smile at daddy and I like we are the funniest/best/most entertaining things that you have EVER seen.  Every day when I pick you up from daycare you are looking at the door just waiting for me.  When we lock eyes your smile is infectious.  You really recognize us now.  There's no doubt that you recognize your own name as well.  When we start saying G-R-A-Y, your head immediately turns and scans the room until you can find the source.  


You seriously light up my life.  I often wonder how I lived before you?


This month you've battled croup (again) and you've grown a bit more.  You currently weigh 16 lbs, 7oz (30th percentile), you are 26.5 inches long (50th percentile), and your head is in the 75th percentile.  You continue to wear size 2 and 3 diapers and you can still fit in your 3 month Carters onesies.  You also wear sizes 3-6, 6, and some 9 month things.  You still only have the same two teeth that came in shortly after your four month mark.  You now eat solids—2 meals a day (we added the second meal at 5 months, 3 weeks).  You get a fruit and cereal at daycare and then I feed you a veggie every night.  You are a huge fan. So far you've had peas, green beans, applesauce, squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, bananas, pears, peaches, and mangos.  You do not discriminate and love them all equally.  You still nurse as well and that continues to go really well.  I'm pumping two times a day at work and so far so good!


You are sleeping a bit better, but you still nurse at least once at night, usually between 1:30-4am.  Although you've been rolling for awhile, you now roll like a maniac.  You roll the second we try to change your diaper and/or dress you.  You are one SQUIRMY worm.  You've learned how to roll in the pack n play as well, which makes for some restless and sleepless nights.  Despite knowing how to roll, you aren't in love with sleeping on your stomach.  That does NOT stop you from flipping over onto it every single time I lay you on your back.


Not only do you roll, but you're also learning to scoot.  You start by getting yourself into a downward dog position and then moving yourself forwards. I am SO not ready for this.  You are way too little to be acting this big.  The downward dog thing is hysterical.  You've also started to try sitting on your own for a few seconds at a time.  In fact, you started doing this more consistently on mothers day—2 days after you turned six months. 


We introduced you to grass and the swings this month, with a picnic at the park.  You love being outside.  You LOVE the animals.  One look at Polly, O'Snap or Sage puts an immediate smile on your face.  You love reaching out the grab their fur and they generally tolerate you.   


You love the song the Itsy Bitsy Spider, you love reading books, and you love to squeal.  For some strange reason, you REALLY love when we smell your feet and say "pee-yew, Graby. You stink."  Language wise, you stick to mamammama or shrieking.  You also love your exersaucer and will play in there long enough for us to eat dinner.  You still love to eat your toes, and you love any toy that you can get your hands on.


You still have a million nicknames--  Gray, Gray Gray, Graby, Boo, Boo Bear, Bug, Buggy. I call you Grayson on occasion.  You are still gorgeous too! Your eyes are still piercingly blue and your lips are totally kissable.  Too kissable! Although now when I say, "Grayson, can I have a kiss?" you know to lean in for one (well, at least half the time when you aren't distracted).


The coolest thing about you is just how happy you are.  Your personality is really coming out and I love watching you grow and change every single day.  I didn't think it would be possible to love you any more than I did the second I met you, but I do.  There's nothing like it.  Nothing can top you sweet boy.  You're still the best thing I've ever done!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Grayson-- 5 Months

Dearest Grayson,

How in the world is my darling son already 5 months old? Everyone told me that it would fly by, but I brushed them off. It really, seriously has. Five months already?!? My baby is certainly not the tiny little thing that I brought home from the hospital almost 22 weeks ago. You are certainly not helpless either, anymore. If the fight you had with the doctor is any indication, you’re going to be a star football quarterback someday.

In the last five months, my love for you has only continued to grow. It’s totally cheesy, but my heart literally sings and skips a beat when I see you every single morning. Who would have thought that one tiny little baby boy could make my entire life so much more important and so much more joyful?

You have grown a bit more this month. You now weigh 15lbs, 7oz and are 26 ½ inches tall. You wear size 2 and 3 diapers and your clothing is all 0-3, 3-6, and 6 month sizes. This past month has been full of firsts. Mommy had to go back to work this past month and you started daycare. The adjustment wasn’t fun for either of us. I missed you so much and cried every day for a few weeks after I dropped you off each morning. You had a tough time accepting a bottle and went on a three day hunger strike while daddy and grandma were watching you. You have since adjusted and you will take a bottle at daycare and continue to nurse every evening, night and morning before baby school. Along with daycare came croup and your first cold. The doctor was amazed by your sheer willfulness and strength as he tried to hold you down on the table to check out your ears. The cold broke my heart. I hate to see you suffer in any way.

Although the doctor said that it was incredibly uncommon, you had TWO teeth come in before you turned five months old (18 weeks). Your sleeping patterns also went down the tubes. You were no longer sleeping 9 ½ hour stretches. I think we’re lucky to get 6 in a row nowadays. You haven’t used a swaddle in several weeks, so you wake yourself up kicking your legs and moving about. You still sleep in our room in the pack n play but we’re considering moving you out in the next month or two.

After you turned four months old you also accomplished rolling both forwards and backwards, you grab anything and everything, and your fine motor skills are really amazing considering the fact that you’re so young and a boy. You can take your pacifier out of your mouth and manipulate it in your hands. You totally recognize your own name and scan the room when you hear it. You FINALLY laughed at us, after months of trying to make you laugh. There is no sound sweeter, my dear baby boy.

You’ve also started reaching out at everything and you put everything in your mouth. I can’t even take a sip of a drink without you grabbing for it. We tried giving you both rice cereal, oatmeal and applesauce but you weren’t a huge fan. It’s back on the agenda now that you are five months old.

You currently LOVE bath time, now tolerate longer car rides without crying and love being carried around the house. You’ve found your feet and learned how to put your toes in your mouth. It is the cutest thing in the world.

Your favorite toys are Sophie the giraffe, your teething blanket, your o-ball football, your Lamaze inchworm and any miscellaneous items that you can put into your mouth. You’ve noticed Polly (the dog) a lot more frequently now and love to watch her move about the room. When she comes near you, you reach out to pet her and she tolerates it really well.

I am so blessed to be your mama and I just love watching you grow and learn new things. You make my whole world dear boy. I love you to the moon and back.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Back to Work

I've been back to work for a week and a day now. 
I'm happy to report that although I was absolutely certain that I would die from the pain of leaving my child, I'm alive and kicking and it's actually not as terrible as I was anticipating. 
I smile at least 50 times per work day and it's actually kind of nice to utilize that section of my brain that laid pretty dormant (if i'm being honest) for 18 weeks.  That being said, I still cry every single morning when I leave him and I do miss him like crazy.  I'm currently straddling a fine line in my life right now---  One where I feel so proud of myself that I'm managing it all okay and when I feel really good about how things are going and one where I just want to throw in the towel, actually consider scourging the internet trying to find out how I can qualify for food stamps and pick my baby up from daycare.
I have a feeling that I'll feel this way for the rest of time. I guess it's just part of being a mom. 

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Grayson: 4 Months

Dearest Grayson,

.... and just like that, I have a four month old!

If feels like we've known you forever, and like you just arrived yesterday. It's funny how time works. If I had a choice, I'd slow things down. Way down. I already miss my tiny, squishy little newborn. That being said, the baby boy that has replaced that teeny newborn, seriously makes my whole world.

The jump between 3 months and 4 months is OUT OF THIS WORLD. It seems as though everyday you learn something new and daddy and I just marvel in your brilliance.

You love slow dancing in my arms, listening to music, and dancing on our laps. When we enter the room you beam at us from ear to ear (that seriously makes my whole life) and coo. Your eyes sparkle and your entire face lights up. Your joy is infectious. Your face is so expressive and you have the bluest eyes and the most amazing eye brows. Your expressions speak loudly, even when you can't yet. You love saying mamamamamamamama over and over again. You are the most gorgeous baby that I've ever seen and it brings me so much happiness to see the look of determination on your face as you learn something new.

This month you've found your voice, you've found your toes, you've rolled over, you've attempted to sit up, and as of tonight, you've tried rice cereal (it didn't go well.. we'll probably wait until you are five months to try again). You've also grown.. 2 inches to be exact! You know weigh 14 lbs, 8 ounces and you are 25 inches long. You are still wearing most of your 0-3 clothing, but you also wear 3-6 month clothing as well.

You are so fun, Grayson. You hold your head up well now so it's so much easier to go out and about with you. You are a hit everywhere we go. I've been blessed to stay home with you for all four months so our days consist of lots of walks, books, play time and cuddling. I go back to work this month and I'm so sad about leaving you. I have never been happier in my entire life than I am cuddled up with you in my arms. Leaving you is going to be a huge adjustment. For one, you haven't left my side for more than an hour in 13 months (if you count when I was growing you). For 13 months, your entire being has survived on me and me alone (Grayson is breast fed exclusively) I worry that going back to work will effect my milk supply. I'm not anti formula, but for me, breast feeding is probably one of the most rewarding things that I've done in my entire life. It's totally cheesy, but I get such joy out of knowing that I am responsible for you growing 2 inches this month. I know that I'll pump at work, but I will so miss nursing my baby boy each and everyday. I hope this goes better than I'm picturing it in my head and I hope that you'll actually take a bottle at daycare. We've only practiced like twice. Oops.

You love playing with your toys now and you can reach out and grasp each one. You love Sophie, your rattles, and your baby Einstein ball. You hate riding in the car and scream almost every time.. that part is NOT fun.

We still swaddle you at night, but we are slowly weaning you from that with the one arm method. Your sleep habits have changed a bit and you continue to get up at least once a night to nurse. You aren't sleeping 9.5 hours in a row like you were when you were three months old, but I've heard that it's common for 4 month olds to regress. You generally fall asleep around 8:30 and sleep until 7am with 1-2 nursing sessions in between. You still sleep in our room and I have no desire to move you out until you are 10. Okay, not really, but I'm definitely not moving you until you can roll forwards and backwards consistently. We did graduate you from the rock n play to the pack n play, though. That was a big night for me, but you didn't even notice the difference.

This picture is titled, Mommy is too busy to learn her camera settings and I move too quickly. Anyone have a camera for dummies recommendation for me?
Your nicknames continue to evolve and the favorites this month were, Gray Gray, G, Graby, Bubba, Boo Bear and Boo Boo. Regardless of what we call you, our entire world revolves around you and we wouldn't want it ANY other way. It amazes me that I ever lived before you. Life after your sweet face is better than anything that I EVER could have dreamed of.

The best part about having a four month old is the fact that you now recognize me and it becomes more evident each and every day that you love us too.

We love you Grayson Patrick,


Sidenote: I support ANY WAY that a woman chooses to feed her child. However, if anyone ever wants to talk/needs support with breastfeeding, please reach out. I've been to all the support groups, read all of the books and have taken 3 breastfeeding classes at my local hospital/la leche league. I am/was super lucky to have had an easy breastfeeding experience with Grayson, but I'm happy to share any support and resources with anyone that wants them, as I've become a mini expert on the topic.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Working Mama

I haven't been great about keeping up with my blog, but I will be back soon.

I've spent the last 17 weeks soaking up every last bit of my baby boy. Truth be told, I probably haven't turned on or sat at my computer more than 15 times since November 10th (I have used my iPhone- I'm not Amish people). I'm not going to lie, it was kinda nice.

I go back to work next week and I'm anxious, devastated, hurting, and scared about it. Everyone told me that I'd be so ready to go back-- but I'm not.

Unfortunately, money talks and the choice isn't mine.

Devastated is the understatement of the century. I cannot picture myself walking in there next Wednesday and quite honestly, the only thing I can picture is myself collapsing over the weight of it all.

I know most of my bloggy friends are stay at home moms. If any of you working mamas have any advice I'd love to hear it.

It's going to take every ounce of strength left in me to say goodbye to my little doll each day, but it won't kill me, will it?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Monday, February 13, 2012

Grayson is Three Months Old!!

My Dear Sweet, Beautiful Grayson,

You continue to light up my life and my love for you continues to knock me off of my feet. I'm not sure how anyone has more than one child because I can't even imagine that my heart could grow any bigger than it is right now. You turned three months old on February 10, 2012. Because your mother is anal, I decided to take you to the doctor for a weight check (thank you, maternity leave) just to see how you are doing. You currently weigh 13lbs, 0oz (40th percentile) and are 23 1/4 inches (20th percentile) long. You are still wearing all of your 0-3 month clothing and we haven't tried to put you in any 3-6 or 6 month clothing yet. You are in size 2 diapers and thanks to very generous grandparents, your father and I just bought diapers for the first time last week.

You are such an adorable little man. I stare at you in awe of your beauty. I know that all mothers think that their babies are perfect, but you REALLY are. I love your sweet button nose. Your piercingly blue eyes. Your full, kissable lips. I thank my lucky stars that I will be able to stay on maternity leave until you are about four months because I love nothing more than spending every moment with you (don't even get me started on going back to work. It's a dagger and a heavy weight that I feel in my heart, every single day). Even when dad gets home I've never once handed you over to him and requested a break. In fact, if dad is holding you, I'm probably jealous. You are that awesome. Somehow, I was blessed with an easy going baby (funny, because I am not that easy going) and I really, really, really hope you stay this way.

Obviously, you are a baby, so you have your moments.. but even your cries are so darn cute. Your three month growth spurt was no fun. You spent three days nursing non stop and fussing quite a bit, but we made it through with smiles on our faces.

Your personality evolves and shines more and more every single day. You laugh (still without sound. I can't wait for the sound), you smile so big and you've started purposefully batting at your toys a little bit. Within the last week or two, you just want to move SO bad. If I lay you on your boppy, you will strain your little self in an attempt to sit up. You want to be sitting up and only tolerate the cradle hold when you're very sleepy now a days. My favorite moments are when you wake up from a nap or in the morning. You look around the room and as soon as you spot me, your face lights up in a giant smile. That is something that I NEVER want to forget.

Speaking of sleep. You continue to evolve and excel in that area. Your longest stretch to date (without waking to nurse) is 9 1/2 hours, but that hasn't happened very frequently yet. You generally sleep from 8:30-5:30, nurse, and then go back down until 7:30ish. We still swaddle you and you still sleep right next to our bed in the rock n play. You may still be sleeping there when you are five at this rate, because if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Although you sleep well at night, you aren't a great napper. You'll sleep and nap amazingly well during the day if I hold you in my arms (luckily, I oblige quite frequently). However, if I move you to the boppy or your swing, your eyes pop open immediately. I can tell when you need a nap because you get quite cranky, but getting you to sleep during the day takes some careful maneuvering.

You HATE driving in the car without someone sitting next to you, so I try to strategically plan my trips out alone with you by making sure you're topped off with food and a tiny bit drowsy. You don't mind short trips, but you basically scream your face off after 15+ minutes (if you don't fall asleep first). You LOVE playing on your play mat, kicking your legs, smiling, being naked, sitting in your vibrating seat, watching TV (yes, we let let you watch a little tv with us if we're watching something), listening to music (LMFAO tends to be your favorite), dancing, and taking walks. This winter has been incredibly mild- seriously, 50-60 degrees, so we've taken a lot of walks and you love looking around at the sights. You LOVE when we sing to you have we have several incredibly tragic songs about our "graby" baby and how we love you. Yes, the Graby nickname is back. Along with Nugget, Gray-Gray, G, Lil G, and Boo-Boo.

I feel so blessed that I get to watch you grow and I have to pinch myself because if all seems so surreal sometimes. In 3 short months you've morphed a million times. It's incredible (and a little TINY bit sad) how fast you have grown.

You are the best thing that I've ever done, Grayson Patrick.

I love you with every square inch of me,


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Grayson Month 2

Dear Sweet, Beautiful Grayson,

As of January 10, 2012, you are 2 months old. Hold me now. When did that happen?

You had your two month well baby appointment and you’re weighing in at 11 pounds, 9.5 ounces (30th percentile), you are 22 ¼ inches long (20th percentile) and your head is off the charts at 16 inches (98th percentile). This last part is obviously the result of your ridiculously large and brilliant brain.

The last month is tied with your first month for the best month of my life. You really blossomed this month. Gone is my tiny helpless newborn and in its place is a gorgeous infant who makes me ridiculously happy. I have to pinch myself all the time because I wonder how I got so lucky to have you as my son?

This month we celebrated your first Christmas and your first new year. It was incredible. Christmas as an adult was always okay, but now that I have a child it is so much more exciting. You were showered with gifts and everyone loved you.

This month your personality has totally blossomed. You are now smiling and cooing. When we put you flat on your back you move your arms and legs a mile a minute just testing them out. You’re starting to realize that you can control your own arms and legs and you’ve having a ball trying them out. Your smile melts our hearts. When you were a newborn, you smiled in your sleep all of the time, but now you are showing us purposeful smiles. The best part of my day is when you smile back at me in the mornings, right after you nurse and before we get out of bed to start our day.

You totally recognize me (this started at around 7 weeks) and you’ll track me and my voice around the room. During your first month of life, you were quite fussy in the evenings, but even that changed during month two. You still fuss sometimes, but we will either change arm position, give you a binky or try another trick and you usually stop fussing immediately.

You continue to be weary about bath time. You never cry during your bath, but you just stare at us with a furrowed brow and give us a look that can only read, “seriously, what is this?” Instead, you prefer to sit in your bouncer, play on your activity mat and being carried around the house looking at all the shiny objects.

Your favorite toy is definitely the mirror attached to your activity mat. You could stare at yourself for a long, long time. Who could blame you though? You are seriously adorable.

Sleep wise, at around week 5, life changed drastically. We didn’t really do anything different but you just started sleeping longer. You now sleep (knock on wood) from about 9:30pm until sometime between 3-5am. You get up and nurse, and then you usually fall back asleep until 7:30. You still sleep in our room in the rock n play, and I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to move you out (ha).

My dear sweet Grayson, my heart swelled when you were born- so much so -that I thought it might burst. Instead, my love for you continues to knock me off of my feet and continues to grow each and every day. It’s funny because people always told me, just wait until you have a kid. The love will change your life. I just listened to them and thought yeah, yeah, I’ve loved before. I’m so grateful for the experience of having a child. It has forever changed me and opened my heart.

Thank you, Grayson, for teaching me about this love.

I love you sweet boy!


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy Holidays

Sorry I've been missing, but I've been having an amazing time celebrating the holiday season with my brand new son!

In the meantime, ooh and ahh over my super handsome son and our birth announcement.

2011 was an incredible year. My family grew and my heart swelled. I can't wait to watch my son grow in 2012. I'll be back soon with more posts!