Wednesday, January 16, 2008

feeling settled

I had a happy and healthy childhood. My parents were loving and supportive. My family life was stable, but my home life was not.

We moved more times than I can count on two hands. I've lived in more states that most people have ever visited in their lifetime (In no particular order- Massachusetts- three different times, Connecticut-three different times , Maryland, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New York, Colorado, Illinois, Tennessee). As a result, it feels so good to be more settled now.

I attended three different first grades, in three different states, and changed schools twice in middle school and twice in high school. After high school, I continued on with the change. I had become so used to leaving and starting over that I became bored very easily. So for college, I decided to go to school in Massachusetts (about 9 hours from my then hometown of Pittsburgh). Throughout college, I lived in four different dorm rooms and two off campus apartments. After college, I moved again to eastern Massachusetts for graduate school. That lasted about two years. During my internship year, I moved yet again, south of the Mason Dixon, where I currently reside.

I've lived here for almost two years now, and I think I'm finally ready to settle down. The thought of change no longer entices me, it just makes me drowsy.

I think that may be why I act more like 26 going on 62. I like to feel settled. I like the fact that I've thrown out my college girl posters and furniture, in favor of more adult things. I like that my closet is no longer littered with halter tops and mini skirts. I like that instead of having 16 bottles of 10 dollar vodka above my fridge, I have a funny cat calender and fancy entertaining tableware.

For years and years, I cried on my birthday. I dreaded getting older and growing up. Now, I like being a grown-up. I like that I no longer have homework, and that my work day ends when I walk out of the door. I like walking through my front door and being greeted by a clean house (not littered with pizza boxes and beer cans) but instead full of cat toys and grown up treats.

And just so you know, I haven't cried on my birthday in two years. I am not exactly psyched about turning another year older (thankfully i'm not even halfway to 27), but I like how my life has turned out so far, so it's okay with me.

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