Monday, January 28, 2008

The kids are a little bit gangsta

My Monday/Tuesday school is hysterical. It stresses me out beyond belief, but at least the comic relief is there (this is the school with the guns, weapons, swearing, fights etc- have I mentioned the kids are all 11 and under?).

It's in an under resourced area of the county, and most of the children are eligible for free and reduced lunch. The kids are very street smart as well, and can talk a BIG game.

Today was better than most Mondays. We have a kindergarten student who likes to get himself in trouble, crawl under the table and disrupts learning. After an afternoon in the office, he swung by my office to drop off a picture that he made for me. It was a beautifully drawn bird, with trees, a smiling sun and some bright green grass. The bird had a tattoo on his stomach that said I love you Ms. Ashley (not my last name, but I refuse to share that in a public forum). After he handed the picture to me he noticed a picture of Snap and Sage that I have on my desk. He said, "I love cats! I have three." I said, oh yeah? What are your cats names.

His response, "Dope-Man!"

Gee, now I understand why you are in the office all the livelong day little man.

Later in the day, I went to check in on one of the students that I counsel. He was having a rough day, and I wanted to make sure he was remaining calm within the classroom setting. The students were writing a story about the "ultimate bedroom." They were webbing and brainstorming about all of the things that they would love in their dream bedroom; you know refrigerators, hot tubs, Steve McNair.. the normal stuff. This one particular boy was hoping for an ice cream truck.

I said to his pod: Wow, A. wants an ice cream truck in his room. That way he could eat ice cream whenever he wants and his parents can't say no!

Boy next to me: Yeah, cool, expect then his teeth will go all rotten and bad.

Me: Well, then we'll just have to get him a grill.

Boy next to me: Good call Ms. Ashley, good call.

I know, I probably shouldn't have said that, but sometimes I just can't resist. When I heard about dope-man the kitty cat, I actually busted out laughing in front of the little boy and the principal. I just can't contain myself sometimes (now you know why I work with the little ones).

That reminded me of another funny story that happened at this same school a few months ago. I was standing out front during arrival, and a little boy that I know came up to me to report that another boy rubbed his "balls" on his breakfast. I'm thinking baseballs, basketballs, those aren't allowed in school! He said, "no, Ms. Ashley, his ball, balls."

Oh.

To make a long story short, I searched around the school looking for the alleged "ball" boy. Apparently, the name that I was given was only his alias that he uses around the neighborhood. After about an hour, I found the right boy. I said, "excuse me, but did you rub your privates on D's breakfast?"

The little boy looks at me with a straight face and says, "No, but I rubbed my chiiiiiiiiiicken nuggets (while pointing to privates) on his breakfast."

Oh lovely. Thanks for sharing that.

3 comments:

A.D. said...

I can finally see your gal!!! She's very stylish and I like the kitties.
Love your kid stories...hilarious
...but I still don't want any right now!

Ashley said...

oh yay! I'm glad it worked. I think she looks like me.

Yeah, if you have any kids, I don't recommend procreating and moving to the ghetto.

`°*ஜღ moka ♥ღஜ*°´ said...

hi! i love cats too!! this blog is very nice!