Thursday, February 28, 2008

M.I.L.F.

It's amazing what you can do with a crock pot, some meat and two forks.

I love slow cooking chicken in Mexican seasoning or B.B.Q. sauce and shredding the heck out of it. Shredded chicken just tastes better. Hands down.

Tonight I made burritos. I threw two frozen chicken breasts into the slow cooker with 1/4 of a cup of water. I also threw in a packet of taco seasoning. Three hours later, the chicken was shredded. Add that to some Mexican rice and burrito toppings and voila-- instant burritos. They were incredibly yummy.

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In other news.. it appears as though the green gap trench is sold out online and in the store (at least my store). Bummer. I guess that narrows down the decision.

I'm also thinking about getting a part time job at the loft. It's not my first choice of employment, but I'm in desperate need of extra money. The car payments and student loan payments aren't getting any easier. It's pathetic that a freakin psychologist barely makes enough to get by. The major bonus about ATL is that it's in an outdoor shopping mall. I'm not down with working at a mall AND least I would get 50% off. Maybe I'll go see if they are hiring this weekend.

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Now on to the M.I.L.F. part of my post.

Today, work was incredibly amusing.

I noticed a little kindergarten boy wearing this shirt today and for some reason it totally turned me off. I mean, yeah, I want to be a hot mom, but am I going to make my kids advertise that for me? Umm, NO!

I don't understand why any parent would outfit a five year old in something that screams, my mom thinks she's hot. Guess what, this mom is no Heidi Klum.

There were also some other very hysterical happenings at XYZ Elementary School.

We had ANOTHER case of sexual feeling today. This time, a kindergarten boy grabbed his junk, shook it around and said "look at this."

When we called him in for questioning he spent five minutes saying, umm, yeah, ummm, well, umm.

I was getting frustrated. It's like t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-today junior.

I asked him what his name was to break up the "umms".

He said "Joe"

I replied, "Joe what?"

"Joe Wlksdoiwehfasf"

"Can you spell that?"

"No."

Umm okay little man (I found this amusing, I guess you had to be there).

It's always fun to call the parents and say, "Hello, today in school your son was jiggling his private parts at the girls. Could you speak to him about this."

Such a comfortable moment.

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We also had an incident with a knife. A fourth grade boy was caught with an 8 inch long hunting knife in his pocket during school (duh, he only wanted to dig holes after school with it).

Anyways, apparently his classmate went to the bathroom and saw a ghost. After he returned to art he told the knife boy. Knife boy went to the bathroom and confirmed that he saw a ghost as well. He then slipped the other little boy the knife for protection.

Seriously, they need to start paying psychologists a lot more.

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At the end of the day I had to spend time with another kindergartner who was freaking out and could not sit still on his carpet square.

"Johnny, what's wrong? Why aren't you sitting appropriately on the rug like all the other kindergartners?"

"Well, I just can't con-cen-atrate Ms. A."

"Why Johnny?"

"There are millions of creepy crawly worms itching me all day long. They are inside my skin and they are sucking my blood. They start down at my ankles (proceeds to pull up pant leg) and are making their way for my brain. They like to eat my hot parts. They are sucking out my blood. Little tiny critters all over my skin."

"Are you talking about germs?"

"No, I'm talking about the things that live inside me and suck my blood out. They tell me not to con-cen-atrate. I can't con-cen-atrate when they are itching my body."

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I actually emailed myself these exact conversations so that I wouldn't forget them.

Can I please reiterate that psychologists need to be paid more. Way more.

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