Wednesday, March 12, 2008

May I blame the dryer?

Dear Maytag,

I don't like to complain (maybe)- so I'm going to keep this short, simple and to the point.

1. Yes, so I have put on a few pounds this winter.

2. Why do you need to make my life worse by shrinking my clothes even more? You make every morning depressing. Well, at least whenever I have fresh laundry.

3. I thought fluffy dry clothes were a good thing. Am I supposed to start letting them air dry?



Dear Ashley,

Perhaps you need to lay off the swedish fish. Was that a one pound bag you consumed last week alone?

lovingly yours,
The Dryer

I hate my dryer. Seriously, I had to try on three pairs of pants this morning to find one that didn't give me camel toe (TMI, I know) and/or that didn't cut off my circulation at the waist.

Yes, I know I need to diet or maybe get off my ass- but seriously. That doesn't explain it all.

Did my attempt to become more of an apple shape cause my legs to grow 2 inches? I didn't think so.

I'm happy to report that I'll have 3 new pairs of capris this summer. ALL of which I can't fit into. SUPER SWEET.


In other news.. if you think boyfriend is hot now (Umm, duh- I do)- you should have seen him as a little kid.

We're going to make some seriously gorgeous children someday.

1 comment:

BrooklynGirl said...

I don't know ... my dry-clean-only stuff has mysteriously shrunk too, and I have a friggin wedding dress to fit into in 2.5 months. WTF??? I am not eating ANYTHING and I keep gaining a pound here and there. I am going to have to go on my crazy crash diet so that I don't scare away the natives on the beach during the honeymoon.