Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Operation Halloween Costume

SUCKS.

I know that I said that I wasn't going to tell, but we had decided to go with the Corpse Bride and Jack Skellington.

I say had, because that idea is blown.

We ordered the costumes and they were pathetic. John's was forty bucks and it was a cheap polyester jacket (no pants). Mine was 50 bucks and I looked like a slut (Corpse bride is supposed to be scary, not slutty). Never mind the fact that although I ordered a medium, which is SUPPOSED to fit a size 10/12-- I couldn't even fit both legs in without popping a few pearls from the bodice (for the record, I'm not a size 10 or 12).

We were not going to waste nearly 100 bucks on shiteous costumes so we went to plan b-- Malice in Wonderland.

Apparently, Malice was sold out.

Crap.

Do we have a plan C?

In the end, we settled on the whole vampire and vampiress costumes (we want to be scary, and we want blood). Neither of us were pleased with the decision, but there's not much you can do with only one week before Halloween. Vampiress came in the mail today.

H.I.D.E.O.U.S.

Since when does a vampire wear a tutu? Oh and P.S. Target- I ordered a medium. Thanks for screwing up my order and sending me a large. Oh, no wait, seriously thanks. I could barely squeeze my ass in the large.

Not only did Target screw up the sizes, they sent me a costume complete with a rip down the seam. They better accept my return- the order form clearly says medium and my package is clearly a large.

And we're back to the drawing board............

I should know better than ordering premade Halloween costumes. For every 10 you buy, one will be decent. Sure, I ordered costumes in college. But when I was in college, I wore a size 2 and actually wanted to show off all of my legal parts (I wasn't G.I. Ho for nothing- seriously, I'm puking in my mouth a little bit thinking about it).

Growing up, my mom always made our Halloween costumes from scratch and they were fantastic. Unfortunately, although I'm a domestic goddess, I'm a little nervous about sewing clothes.

I will be sewing next year.

Seriously, I could have practiced my skills on the Malice (Alice) costume. I'd be ripping it to shreds and covering it with blood anyways.

2 comments:

Chitown Meg said...

Ahh the trials and tribulations of Halloween costumes. I feel your pain. I am pretty much deciding that whatever I am, it will be a dead something....dead cheerleader...dead nurse....dead teacher....I want blood!!! LOL. I have always gone the way cute or slutty route...I need a change of pace!

Shanna said...

Have you come up with anything yet?
I am in denial that Halloween is Friday already!