Thursday, April 30, 2009





28 more days until school is out for summer.

I'm taking off at least 2 of those 28 days to move.

Praise the lord.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

One More Thing....

You should know that I did it....

When I was waiting for the horse pill prescription to be filled, I bought this.

I'm going to give it another whirl.

Well WHAT do you know?

Remember that cold that I had last week?

Well it definitely sucked, but I felt like I was going to survive come Sunday.

Since Sunday, I have had a lingering cough and my ears feel a little weird and are all pop-py and stuff, but I've at least been able to survive on 8 hours of sleep and function like a normal person.

Today, I had a little more, ahem, snot (sorry) than usual. I literally blew my nose for a good half hour this morning. While I was blowing my nose, my ear drums were blowing and popping right along with them.

Hmm I thought to myself. That' s a little strange.

They kept feeling a little weird and painful all day.

I decided that although I technically feel fine, maybe I'd stop off at the doctors on my way home just to check things out (cause I don't sound good, regardless of my feeling okay).

Well, the doctor kinda offended me.

She took one look in my ears and was appalled. She was all like "oh my gosh, your ears are so bad. You are about to pop. OH my gosh, your ears are the worst I've seen in awhile."

Okay lady, I get it. Don't offend my ears. They are sensitive.

I asked her if I had an ear infection and she looked at me like I had three heads. She said, "your ears are awful, seriously terrible AND you have a sinus infection."

Like I'm supposed to know what an ear infection feels like. I haven't knowingly had one since I was about 3. Plus, despite four colds a year, I've never had a sinus infection before. Oh wait, I've probably been having both of these problems all along and never knew it. Oh snap.

She put me on horse pills. Seriously, these things are bigger than a quarter. She said she wasn't going to screw around with a low dose because.....

you guessed it...




My ears are SO bad.

In other news, this is really going to interfere with my plans for tomorrow night (which included a glass of wine).

Hypothetically, can one drink on antibiotics?

When the Fiance is away....

Okay, so he wasn't really away last night, but he went out for "boys night."  Boys night included miller lite, wings and the capitals game.
I could have joined them, but lets be realistic....  A night on the couch watching whatever I want and eating whatever I want beat out a night at the bar.
First, I made the most phenomenal dinner.  Seriously, it was great and it was full of mushrooms.  A veggie that the fiance will not touch.   I'd like to name it...
Ashley's Home Alone Mushroom Chicken and Wine Sauce
1. Chicken, cut up and sauteed in olive oil and garlic
2. Add onions- chopped up
3. Add a crap load of mushrooms
4. Add some white wine (A LOT)
5. Add some lemon juice (a few squirts)
6. Add a pinch of thyme
7. Add a little cornstarch and water to thicken things up
8. Serve over rigatoni
9. Sprinkle with parmesan
After that, I settled in for a night of T.V. and hated on several people, including Spencer Pratt (gag me and your little rat face beard) and the dreaded brown team (they are evil).

Public Service

Oh My.

You may have noticed that I love online shopping. I buy a lot, but I honestly return most of it.

Old Navy is running the Stuff n Save event right now, so I tried to pick up some staples.

First up, the Women's Slim Stretch Capris

They look cute enough. They are a basic wardrobe staple and they were 12 bucks after the coupon.

I must warn you, move your fingers away from the "add to bag" button. When they say slim, they must be referring to the fabric. Literally, a tiny pimple on your leg would show through these puppies. They will be going back.

Up next, the madras dress.

I knew what I was getting into when I ordered it. I mean, it even looks kinda shapeless in this picture, but I decided to give it a shot.

Umm no.

The lining is like 6 inches shorter than the dress hem and it is not flattering. In fact, there is significantly more fabric across the waist then across the chest. I'm not well endowed in the boobage area, and this was even tight on me.

Lastly, was the linen ruffle dress.

I think that the model looks damn cute in this dress. I was really hoping that this one would work out-- but it didn't. The material is really flimsy and stiff. Plus, it makes you look pregnant. If that isn't enough, it's actually a faux wrap dress. Unfortunately, if a slight breeze came your way there is no doubt in my mind that you would flash at least one person. I had it on for 5 minutes-- in my wind proof house-- and I flashed my cats twice.

Has anyone found anything decent at Old Navy-- or anywhere for that matter-- lately?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Although I recently dissed Ann Taylor Loft, they have two of the cutest cute dresses that I've seen in awhile.

Considering the fact that everything is 30% off right now, I decided that I'd give them another chance.

I'm crossing my fingers that they aren't quite as short as they look and that they are just as cute in person.

Annoying Things that I Hate to do

Annoying things that I hate to do.

1. I hate shaving my legs. Thank the sweet lord that I'm blonde or else I would never leave the house in the summer.

Why? because I don't shave nearly enough and I sure as heck won't wear a pair of long pants in the summer.

Do you know that I KNOW people that shave their legs every freakin' day. The worst part, they actually enjoy doing it.

I used to Nair them and I may need to see what kind of progress nair has made in the fragrance department. Smelling like rotten eggs may just be a little more enjoyable then slaving over a razor and shaving cream.

2. Dusting. Dusting is so annoying. Lucky for me, I live in an apartment that accumulates dust at record speed. The fact that I'm moving soon does not encourage me to dust.

That is not a good thing. My cats are turning gray.

3. Our coffee table. Obviously I'm not "doing" the coffee table, but I'm SO over having it in my house. We bought it last August and we were in love. It has two glass inlays. Two glass inlays + one fiance that insists on eating in front of the T.V. = stains on the glass AND dust (see #2) on the daily.

It came with two matching end tables.

Do you know what kind of equation that makes?

2 end tables is > 1 coffee table = even more grossness

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sweaty Sweat Monster

I am SO hot.
It is 90 degrees outside.
It is probably 90 degrees in my office right now.
Schools don't/won't allow air conditioning until May 1, 2009.
I threatened the custodian that I'm going to install a kiddie pool right in the middle of my office tomorrow.  It's supposed to be just as hot.
You do not want to mess with a hot Ashley.

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Loft

More recently, I've been thinking that they need to change the name Ann Taylor Loft to Ann Taylor Hizo.

I swear, their dresses are NOT work appropriate anymore.

I'm not a particularly tall girl and my ass hangs out of every dress this season.

Don't even get me started on their shirts. One trip through the dryer and they look like the half shirts I was wearing in 1990.

What happened to my favorite store?

Thursday, April 23, 2009

How to Have a Sick Day

It went a little something like this..


Coworker- Ashley, are you feeling well?
Me- (well shit, I feel great, but why would she ask-- do I look that bad?) Umm...
Coworker- I can tell, you don't look too good.

For the record, I was a little tired, but I felt fine. Totally fine.


I'm tired, I feel like sleeping in, I believe sick days are meant to be taken.

I go and get highlights and a hair cut.

I'm fine all day.

I make a nice dinner.

8:00 pm --Sore throat strikes out of no where.

I'm tossing, I'm turning, my throat is on fire. My nose starts to get stuffy. I'm up at 3am moaning and groaning and unable to breathe.

I'm sick. For real this time.


Who gets sick in freakin' April?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

1234 New House Drive

I know that I've been a little MIA. I've been all wrapped up with new house (picking out paint takes time people) stuff.

Buying a house is like taking your own emotional roller coaster ride. You're up, you're down, you have no clue what's happening. You also wait a lot. A whole lot.

We had our inspection on Sunday and I was super psyched to get back into the house---- Until we learned that the roof sucks, and it is leaking, and just plain old $hitty.

We spent the next few days wondering if they would accept our request to have the entire roof redone.

Yesterday, we found out that they are fixing the roof. Phew, at least I don't need to worry about that for the next 20ish years.

Woah Walmart

I'm not normally a Walmart clothes shopper, but now that I'm on a serious budget, I need to find cute things for reasonable prices.

Walmart is selling these super cute plaid bermuda shorts for 10 bucks!

Best of all, they come in four cute color combos.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Debbie Downer

I had a fabulous weekend! 
The weather was gorgeous and I spent a lot of time outside.  On Friday, the fiance and I met a handful of friends downtown for happy hour.  We sat outside, we laughed and we had a great time.
On Saturday, we went downtown again and walked around, poking around the shops.  After a long walk outside in the gorgeous weather, we headed to lunch (outside) at PF Changs and to do a little shopping at Target.  We capped off the night with cheeseburgers on the grill and a few miller lites. 
I was SO sad to see Sunday night come so soon.  I have a weekly case of insomnia that hits every Sunday at about 10:30 pm.  I just cannot sleep on Sundays.  I'm not sure why, but every Sunday I need to rewind and fast forward in my head for a solid 2 hours.  I think that I finally fell asleep (on the couch no less) at around 12:30am.  I may have fallen asleep, but I was up every hour because the cats were running a marathon around the coffee table, Snap had to puke, John was up and at 'em at 5am getting ready and numerous other 3am distractions.
As if Mondays aren't hard enough, it is rainy and disgusting again today.  I have ZERO motivation to do anything in the rain, let alone sit in traffic the entire way to work because people can't seem to figure out how to use their windshield wipers.  
But I'm here.  I'm at work.  My pants are cutting off my circulation even though I haven't gained a pound and I'm Miss Downer because it's Monday and it's raining.   

Monday Not-So-Fun Day

What I would prefer to do on my Mondays.

Friday, April 17, 2009


riku's wedding dress Pictures, Images and Photos

(not my dress)

Six months until we tie the knot!

Should I be stressed? Because I'm totally not.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

8 Things

8 Things I am Looking Forward To:
1) The Wedding (obviously)
2) Closing Day for our new house (fingers crossed)
3) Pool Weather
4) Decorating OUR first place
5) The honeymoon in Antigua
6) Improving my attitude and outlook
7) Spending time with family
8) The weekend (any and every weekend)

8 Things I Did Yesterday:
1) Worked
2) Was depressed about the rain
3) Almost fainted at the hospital
4) Went to CiCi's for dinner (it was gross)
5) Wore flip flops to work (oops)
6) Yelled at some kids who were misbehavin'
7) Read more Breaking Dawn
8) Cuddled with Snapper and Muff (aka the cats)

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1) Acquire a large amount of $$$
2) Eat - and eat - and eat without gaining weight
3) Quit the anxiety meds easily (I'm going to try it) and not get worse
4) Find a cheap flight to Antigua
5) Take more time to reflect and appreciate
6) Acquire a Silver Volvo SUV
7) Go part-time
8) Have some kiddos (I need to wait, I can't be the only pregnant lady)

8 Shows I Watch:
1) Survivor
2) Desperate Housewives
3) America's Next Top Model
4) Real Housewives of Everywhere
5) John & Kate Plus 8
6) The Bachelor/ette
7) The Office
8)HGTV in general

Speaking of Nurses...

.... Nasty Nurse did not give me poison ivy (although she's still gross).

For that I am thankful.

In other nurse news, I am totally neurotic and I swear I'm getting worse with age.

Last night, HB and I went to visit his dad in the hospital (he had a hip replacement). I have been incredibly lucky and have only been in a hospital once in the last 15 years (knock on wood). As a result, I don't have a hospital point of reference.

I didn't see anything too gross-- there was no blood or open wounds, I didn't see people with tubes all over them (which I was afraid of) but I still almost fainted as soon as we walked into his dad's hospital room. Literally, if I wasn't able to beeline it to the nearest chair, my a$$ would have hit the floor within minutes.

What is wrong with me? I never used to be afraid of the doctor AND how the heck am I going to manage to have kids if I can't even step in the bone replacement floor of the hospital?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Random Wednesday

We're having a monsoon here in Maryland.  It has rained
and rained
and rained
and rained
for the last two days (actually three, but I was off for one of them and I enjoy rainy days at home).
I suck at going to work in the rain.  I'd rather stay in bed.  I hate putting on real clothes (i.e. clothes that don't have as stretchy waistband) and I'm just exhausted.
I need a vacation.  So what if I just had one.
In other news, quitting soda has been successful thus far.  I actually decided not to quit altogether, because I lack motivation and don't like to deprive myself, but I have cut down.  I used to drink 2-3 cans of full sugar coke a day.  Now, I drink 2-3 cans per week.   I decided that I'm allowed to drink coke on special occasions and when I go out to eat.  Life just isn't fun when you deprive yourself.
Although I've cut my soda intake by a lot, my pants are still just as tight as they were last week.  Bummer.  I would have thought that saving all of those calories would have a positive effect on my waistline.  Does it just take more time?
As a result of the monsoon, kickball is cancelled tonight.  I hope that I can curl up in my p.j.s and delve back into Breaking Dawn, which by the way, is the most random thing ever.  Seriously, I never would have imagined that all this crap would happen.  Breaking Dawn is a total soap opera. 

Monday, April 13, 2009

My First Place

You've got to be kidding me?!?!

I'm watching My First Place on HGTV right now.

A couple is buying a huge freakin' house in Atlanta for $238,500. I think I might either pee my pants of move to Atlanta IMMEDIATELY.

I am in shock. I am so jealous.

I am also from Washington D.C. and before that Boston, where you can't buy a shack for under 250,000


Today I went to the Cardiologist for a routine follow up.

As the nurse came in with the EKG machine, she was itching a disgusting rash like crazy and making "ooooohh, yeah" sounds.

She said, "I have the worst case of poison ivy" and proceeded to attach electrodes to my body without washing her hands.

I swear to god, that biatch better not give me poison ivy.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Holy Good Luck

Hot Damn!

Remember this dress? The 165.00 beauty that I've been lusting after for the last month.

It's STILL not on sale.

However, today, while perusing the racks at T.J.Maxx I saw it.

The one.

The only.

The dress.

ANNNND in Navy, which is what I wanted.

It was the only one in the store and it was in my size.

Seriously, how did this happen?

Did I mention that it only cost 39.99? If they had another one I would have bought that one too.

I'm SO going to wear this to my bridal shower.

I NEVER get this lucky with clothes.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Vacation Day One

Is there anything better than days off from work?

I think not.

I slept in until the lovely, fabulous, much needed hour of 10:00 am. After lounging with the kitties for half an hour, I mustered up the motivation to text several friends that are also on vacation to see if they wanted to meet for lunch (none of them did).

It was time to make other plans.

I threw on some sweats (super klassy) and headed out on the town. First stop, pottery barn because I love to look. Next stop, Home Depot. I spent a lot of time perusing the paint samples and picking out the perfect colors for our new house. I just want to move in right now.

The rest of the afternoon was spent reading, lounging some more, and eating spiced shrimp with the fiance.

The Man Cave

Whoever invented the man cave should be shot.

(hmm.. does this sound vaguely familiar to when I moved into this apartment)........

The fiance feels as though because we found a house with a basement, he should obviously have a man cave. His reasoning-- I get the whole rest of the house.

I don't really follow his logic. Just because I'm the primary decorator, doesn't mean that I get the whole rest of the house. If I had things my way, our house would be pink, purple and full of toile. I'm at least considering his thoughts/feelings before picking out paint.

So his plan (actually obsession, he's sent me 3243247239432 pictures of man caves today alone) is to turn our nice, beautiful basement into a a tacky, redskins room.

Talk about the resale of a redskins room...

He doesn't understand why I'm not all about it. Perhaps because I don't want him to end up looking like that (see above) and ruining my beautiful new house.

One second.

I'm back. It was shithead the fiance reminding me to look at his latest man cave article.

Shoot me.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


I woke up this morning with a clear looking face (I think, I was half asleep as I stepped into the shower).
I got out of the shower, looked in the mirror and my face was (and still is) covered in hives or round, raised, circular red blotches.
It's disgusting.
I didn't even do anything new in the shower-- how the heck did that happen?
Public Service Announcement: don't google "round raised blotches."  They'll tell you that you have cancer or lupus.  Not what a hypo needs to hear.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Oh Yay!

We got it.

"It" is referring to our new-new dream home! The sellers accepted our contract this afternoon and John and I did a five minute happy dance.

Because of what we've been through already in the house buying business we are absolutely containing our excitement.

We still have to make it through inspection and appraisal.

But still.. YAY! I can't wait to have 3 floors and 1800 square feet (I'm currently living in half that).

Thanks for all your good thoughts and send them our way until settlement.

Brown Team

Holy Crap the brown team is SOOOOO tragic.

Seriously, they are pathetic.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Old House, New House

We finally got the short sale addendum to our old-new house.

After much debate, we decided to withdraw our offer.

We got the house at a steal of a price and could have stayed but our realtor said that there was at least a 50% chance that the bank would not accept our offer.

We weren't willing to wait a month, wasting time to end up empty handed.

To be honest, I wasn't really that sad about walking away from the house. Although I loved it, I was so annoyed about the fact that the lady completely lied to us that I had to emotionally separate myself from the whole situation a week or two ago.

Unfortunately, now I'm up tossing and turning, feeling bad for this same lady that screwed us over. I had a dream that it's our fault that she is going to the poor house.

Although she was headed straight to foreclosure, our offer saved her butt and allowed her to go into short sale instead. I'm not sure what's going to happen to her now.

Damn dreams and guilty conscience.

In new-new house news, we spent Saturday searching our other options. We found a house that we really liked on Saturday, but I wanted to see just one more on Sunday because I wasn't 100% sure about it. Since we were already heading out to look at another place on Sunday, I randomly asked my realtor to throw in one more showing.

It was for a town home that I had overlooked 100 times while perusing the MLS listings.
I'm so glad that we saw it, because we both fell in love.

We had discounted it originally because it only had 2 bedrooms, but it turns out that they are two huge bedrooms that can be made into three in later years. The pluses include hardwood floors, a ton of storage space, a pantry, and a fully finished basement. Although it has one less bedroom than the our old-new house, it has 500 more square feet.

After seeing this place and assessing our real needs (we'd rather have two living rooms right now-- we have no need for three tiny bedrooms) we decided to put an offer in tonight.

So yes, cross your fingers for us.

I can already tell you that I won't be able to sleep anytime soon. If it's not a guilty conscience, it's "please accept the offer on the new-new house nerves."

Vice Part 2

Thanks for all the feedback so far...

I may try diet, but whenever I eat anything "light" or "diet" i.e. with artificial sweeteners, I get dizzy, feel faint and become nauseous.

My doctor thinks that I may be allergic, but maybe I'll try it again since it's been awhile.


I'm addicted to soda.
Not diet soda.  Full calorie, full sugar soda.
I could drink an entire 2 liter bottle in one day.
I'm going to do an experiment.
Because I'm a huge cow right now and need to lose about one trillion pounds, I am going to cut out my beloved vice.
If I don't lose at least 2 pounds this week I'm going to go back to my old soda drinking ways. 
Does anyone have any advice on how to handle sugar and caffeine withdrawals?

Friday, April 3, 2009

Attention, Attention

I interrupt your Friday evening to direct you to my brand spankin' new blog design!

I'm very excited about it-- it's seriously fabulous.

I was lucky enough to win my new blog design from Danielle and she was great to work with. I had total control of the design and she did all the hard stuff (insert html here).

(isn't my Maryland crab cute)?

Anyways, because she's fabulous, Danielle is offering my readers the opportunity to get their own blog makeover at a sale price!

The first two readers who sign up will get $15.00 off of their deposit.

Everyone else will get $10.00 off of their deposits.

Head on over to Design Girl's website before Tuesday to take advantage of this great deal!

Mi Casa

Buying a house is SUCH a pain in the...


It's so fun. Then it makes you cry (if you were the kinda person that could cry, I'm not right now). Then it makes you happy. Then you get pi$$ed again.

I'm trying to look on the bright side, and to be honest, chances are we'll get our house. We made a super strong offer and it's not like they would EVER get as much as we offered if it we knew it actually was a short sale.

I just don't like being jerked around.

Regardless of what they say, I'm not celebrating until I have a pair of keys in my hand.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Snap & Tux

Snap has been (knock on wood) drool free for approximately 24 hours!

I'm over the moon about that.

Unfortunately, Sage has been avoiding and hissing at Snap for approximately 48 hours.

I'm not psyched about that -- from now on, if one goes to the vet, the other comes along for the ride.

In regards to the tuxes............

The Mr. will be wearing an ivory vest and tie and the groomsman will be wearing a black vest and tie.

The Mr. is still complaining that they'll look like waiters.

The Mrs. doesn't really care what the Mr. thinks about tuxes. =]

The Real Estate Agent

Our real estate agent's name is Edward

--if you were wondering, he does NOT look like Edward Cullen--

---or perhaps he looks like Edward Cullen 20 years later with a lot of chest hair and one too many shirt buttons undone---


I can't help but be reminded of my other boyfriend every time he emails me (which is like 34542343 times a day cause I'm anal and want frequent updates).

Blah Blah Blah

I'm annoyed.

As you all know, we got the house. Three days later, we got a call from our realtor informing us that the bank decided to foreclose on the house.

Pretty sweet considering it wasn't a short sale.

Pretty sweet considering the seller mentioned that she was a tiny bit behind on the mortgage, but also said that it was almost paid up to date and that the whole thing would be rectified by settlement.

So now we wait.. and wait and wait.

Our contract was ratified.. but no one seems to know what happens now and apparently they may not know for another month. Lovely.

Did I mention that our settlement date is this month?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009



They may be cute sometimes.

But they tell the WORST April Fool's jokes.

It's hard to pretend that they're hysterical all day long.