Monday, January 25, 2010

The Bachelor: Jake, Episode 4

Tonight, we start out with that cutie, Chris. He announces that the girls are going to live in an RV from here on out. The girls seem psyched-- I personally think that it sucks. Wow, 9 chicks, no beds, no walking room, and one tiny bathroom-- I'd prefer life in the mansion.

Here comes Jake on his hot rod motorcycle with a TENT. WTF. If I were on this show I'd be like umm no- I didn't sign up for this?

(side note: I think that it's funny that Corrie is a wardrobe consultant. What does that even mean)?

Jake meets the girls and informs them that his tent is just down yonder. The girls whip out their folding chairs and read the date card. Gia gets the first one-on-one date! Ashleigh's sitting in the folding chair in 4 inch heels. Overdoing it much?

Gia's wearing stilettos and a dress for her wilderness date. I'm pretty sure she may be wearing a leotard as well. They spend the first part of their date playing hide and seek and then they chat on the blanket for awhile. Gia claims that she was picked on for being such a dork. Jake had a similar experience (not shocking). Oh lord, they really are dorks. They are playing spin the bottle with a grand total of two people. LAME. Their kiss looks lame too. Must not have been so bad in person because she gets the rose.

The group date is in Pismo Beach, CA. First up, dune buggies followed by sand surfing. I must say that I wish that I had Corrie's body. Just throwing that out there. During dinner Jake talks with Ashleigh. AWKWARD. They have nothing to talk about but she's all over his ass. Jake and Ali talk next. She's sporting her plastic clip (as usual) and she's asking hard questions about the elimination.

(.......this is kinda boring so far)

Here comes Tenley and Jake. He's thrilled to talk to her. So thrilled that he sprawls out on the couch and lays his head on her lap. They discuss her divorce and apparently her ex husband cheated on her with a cop coworker. What a bummer. Vienna gets the last few moments with him (what happened to Jessie? That chick gets ZERO air time). Their time seems a bit lame as well. He claims that he's seen a couple of red flags and he's starting to be a bit concerned about her. Overall, Tenley gets the rose and she's safe.

Katherine and Ella get the 2 on 1 date. One stays, one goes. Foreshadowing leads me to believe that they are both going to go. It's an awkward dinner date at his cabin. Ella appears to be monopolizing the conversation. Jake makes things way weirder than they need to be. He pulls Ella away and he dumps her. I'm surprised, they seemed to have the most in common out of everyone there. Next, Jake goes inside and dumps Katherine too. I don't know why he didn't just keep one of them- he had the rose. Oh wait.. no he doesn't. He burned that shit in the fire.

Back in the bus, the girls continue to hate on Vienna. I still don't understand what she did wrong. Do any of ya'll know?

Back at the cocktail party, Jake pulls several of the girls away for a chat. Corrie is growing on me and I'm growing fond of her. Ali continues to wear yellow dresses everyday. Jessie wears some wicked stupid outfits and she's sporting lime green eye shadow. Jessie calls Vienna out during her one-on-one. Girls, get a grip. Don't talk about others, talk about yourself during your one-on-one time.

It's time to find out who stays and who goes!

Jake's acting like a pansy and crying about how hard it is to pick a girl. Wah. Wah. Wah. Guys should not use the expression, "it hurts my heart."

Moving on, he picks....


Dude- this is dramatic. his hand goes limp as he reaches for the rose.

Jake runs out to find Chris (Chris apparently runs away and has a private party with plain clothed people during the rose ceremony- ha)

Jake just can't BEAR to give out two more roses. Well, duh. You are not left with many winners, buddy(and that includes the girls that he did pick).

Chris is damn good at improvising and thinking on the spot and he steals one of the roses away.

and the final rose goes to..............


That means Ashleigh and Jessie are outta here.

peace out. don't let the door hit ya.


Anonymous said...

Your Bachelor summaries crack me up!

KatBouska said...

Four down five to go!

The Mom Jen said...

The first hour of the past few shows have been boring haven't they..? Love your recap, here from Mama Kat's.