Monday, February 1, 2010

The Bachelor: Jake, Episode 5

The crew arrives in San Fransisco and the girls arrive at their suite. Tenley gets the first one-on-one date. They start off with a private trolley ride through the city. Tenley is cute, but she kinda reminds me of a chipmunk that inhaled too much helium. No girl can be that positive all the freakin' time. Come to think of it, Tenley kind of reminds me of Trista-- they have both mastered the baby talk and they kind of look alike.

Back at the suite, the girls (Ali and Vienna) are throwing down, again. Blah, Blah, same old, same old.

Jake admits that out of all of the girls that are there, Tenley is the one that he pictures most as his wife. Jake is wearing a super metro sexual turtleneck on this date. If Tenley can see past the turtleneck, she's in. If Reality Steve is right and she's not the winner, I'm guessing that she'll be the next Bachelorette. No doubt.

Next up, the two-on-one date with Vienna and Gia. They arrive at a gorgeous vineyard and Jake holds both of their hands as he walks around the castle. Their date is a little awkward. Gia's mute and Vienna is monopolizing the date. During Gia's individual time, she lets him know that she is hurt by his whoreish leg on lap treatment. Jake reassures her that he's falling for her and he tells her how gorgeous she is. Vienna starts exploring the castle and I think she's trying to drop in on his time with Gia........ and she finds him. Awkward! During their time together, Jake seems really weird and distant. It may just be a bad edit, but he does not appear to be having a good time with her.

After Jake puts them to bed, Vienna stalks off to find him in the middle of the night. Jake was laying in bed, "not quite naked, but close" and he had DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTY thoughts about Vienna. Ha.

Next up, his date with Corrie. They have yet to kiss, so she's hoping to get a little nookie tonight. However, this date is a little awkward so far. On the boat, they aren't really speaking to one another. They move on to a candlelight dinner in the aquarium (very cool) and they have a good chat annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd they finally kiss.

Lastly, it's time for Jake's date with Ali. I think that she has a pretty unfair advantage right now, considering the fact that they are in her hometown. As a side note, cute dress, but I can't stand boots with summer dresses. If you are wearing a sun dress, there is no need for knee high suede boots. end rant. They end up in a public park and she's straddling him on a blanket while making out. While they're making out, fifteen assorted families walk by and I don't think that they all enjoyed that show. She ends up frolicking in the water with her suede boots on. See, that's why you shouldn't wear boots to the beach. DUH.

Back at the rose ceremony, things are a little tense. Tenley is worried and scared. Corrie is scared that she's going to be labeled a virgin. Jake has fallen for all five women which is whack. You've spent like two days with them total when you add it all up- pull it together man.

So who gets the rose?


That means that Corrie is going home. Too bad-- she was probably my favorite. Jake gave her the ax because she was taking so long to open up. I mean come on, yo- this show spans at least five weeks- shouldn't she be head over heels with him by now? He cracks me up.


Wise Choice Items said...

I agree with Jakes decision to cut Corrie. No connection awkward moments. History shows once they share they are a virgin saving themselves for marriage they are cut too bad, since my girls watch with me and that is what we expect them to do.



Samantha said...

haha. I loved this!

I agree about the boots- what was up with that? What about flip flops or sandles or something??

And when Jake said he admitted he did have dirty thoughts, ha! so funny