Monday, February 8, 2010

The Bachelor: Jake, Episode 6

It's time for Hometown dates ya'll!!

First stop, NYC-- lemme guess.. Gia? Yup, you've got it.

Gia

I haven't noticed this before, but Gia is a swimsuit model. Who can pay NYC rent on a swimsuit model budget? Anyways, Gia loves hopping into Jake's arms and that's how they start the date.

Oh my god- Jake is wearing a weird Rasta bead necklace. This is almost as bad as last weeks turtleneck.

Gia's last boyfriend cheated on her with all of her friends. That sucks. Gia's brother Eric was last seen on the Jersey Shore and Gia's mom looks like a Jersey Shore Cougar-- except she would say Cou-gaaaaaaaaaaah.

Blah, the snow warning sign is on my screen. Crap, I'm so over snow.

Damn. Gia's mom is wearing a skirt that barely covers her crotch. Yikes. The date with Gia and family is relatively lame and they aren't showing us much. Gia's mom is pumpin' her up and tells her that he's SO in love with her. Isn't it obvi? I don't see it. Back at dinner, the Jersey Shore brother threatens to beat Jake down and to break his legs if he hurts her.

That date sucked.

Moving on, they're in Massachusetts visiting Ali and family.

Ali

Ali jumps into Jake's arms and they pick up right where they left off. The two of them seem way more comfortable together than Jake and Gia do. Jake is all about telling her how much he missed her, which he never says to Gia. Ali and Jake spend the afternoon talking about her dead grandmother and exploring her abandoned house. Afterwards, he moves on to meet her mom, sister, and brother. Jake asked her mom for her blessing for Ali's hand in marriage. Ali lays in on the line and tells her how happy she is and how she'd say "yes" to marrying him in a second. She loves him so much that she cries as he leaves.

Next up, it's Tenley's turn.

Tenley

The pair take a little stroll through the woods and stop for a little cocoa by the lake. Tenley takes Jake to the dance studio and she choreographed a dance for him. Awkward and raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandom. This is seriously weird. She's spazing around the room in a paper sack skirt. Tenley's family seems pretty cute and her mom looks super young. Jake asked Tenley's father for his permission for her hand in marriage and he gave his blessing.

Seriously, WTF was that dance? .. and what is with all the purple that Jake is wearing?

Looks like they saved Vienna for last.

Vienna

She seems super excited to be home and they take the boat out for a trip on the river. Vienna's family is not what I expected. I expected super rich, but they seem like regular folks.

Back in L.A., Ali knocks on the door at Jake's hotel. Ali just found out that she has to chose between staying here and going back to work (Ed/Jillian, deja vu much?). What is with these people-- don't they know that they shouldn't sign up for the bachelor if they can't take 6 weeks off of work? Afterwards, she leaves and she collapses in the hall in tears over this decision.



Here's Chris-- my little Chris and his punk ass tie (skinny ties=yuck). Chris and Jake talk over Ali's situation. This whole situation is pissing me off. The bachelor should be able to punish people for leaving early. Don't they sign a contract? If not, after two seasons in a row, they should probably start.

Ali pulls Chris aside and asks to talk. She's looking a bit rough this evening and says that she still doesn't know what to do. Yikes, I know you're depressed, but it's called a brush-- you should try one. She hems and haws and cries on his lap. She messes up her hair, tells him that she loves him and makes out with his ass. Chris interrupts the moment and asks if she's going to stay or go (anyone else notice she's not sitting like a lady?) and she cries out and looks miserable, "I just neeeeeeeed more time." This is a train wreck.

Finally, after all of that, she tells him that she has to go. He walks her out, and the rest is history. Jake still makes out with her by the limo after she tells him she's leaving. Jake, boy, grow some balls. She didn't choose you.

For the first time ever, there is no rose ceremony tonight and the group is off to St. Lucia. If Ali pulls an Ed I'm going to be SO pissed.

1 comment:

Mrs. S. said...

I thought that, too! I really like Ali though.

I think we have the same thoughts during this show because I thought Gia's brother looks like a Jersey Shore boy, too! And that turtleneck last week was horrible. Ick.

I just hope he doesn't end up with Vienna, but something tells me he will pick her...