Thursday, December 9, 2010

Christmas Fight

Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree.
I thought my husband might divorce me.

(sung in tune, please).



I've mentioned this before-- my husband has strong opinions about random things. Real Christmas trees are one of these things. I grew up with a real Christmas tree too, but I don't get quite so riled up about them. Especially because when I was 16, my dog must have caused our tree to fall and broke all of my favorite ornaments. It seems to be easier to knock down a real tree. I am happy to have a real tree but if the fake tree is full and pretty, I think that's cool too.

{Hey, it's less mess so I'm down}

In my imagination, I think a real tree would be cooler if we didn't live in a refrigerator box sized town home with two cats and no kids. Did I mention the part about the unlevel floor? Yes, we have that too.

Anyways, John cared about the tree a lot and I didn't- so we went with the real tree again this year.

We put on our PJs, poured some wine and blasted Christmas music while we merrily decorated the tree last Thursday night. Fast forward 30 minutes and John is watching TV, I'm washing dishes and the kitties are cuddled up in our bed upstairs. The tree falls.

It was like my life stopped and everything was in slow motion-

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK- I THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK THHHHHHHE TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS FAAAAAAALLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING.

Of course all good Christmasy thoughts escape my mind and I'm all like- this would never happen with a fake tree. We fix it and John avoids me for the rest of the night.

Fast forward 12 hours. I'm leaving for work and notice that the tree looks a bit unsteady again today. I text John-

John, the tree isn't looking very steady right now.

Ashley, just rip it down and go by a fake one if you hate it that much.

Okay, I guess I'll let that subject drop.

Fast forward 8 hours.

This is what I come home to:
IMG00106-20101203-1621.jpg

Now, I'm usually not a very EMO person. I am not sure what got into me last Thursday (premenstrual perhaps), but I actually had tears come to my eyes.

I was cursing Christmas, cursing the tree and crying over my broken ornaments. I went downstairs to get the level and nicked my new jeans and ripped them. It was not my day.

I probably texted John a picture of the tree and said something like this
LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!!

Okay no, I kid. I didn't do that but I probably thought about doing it.

It turns out that our floor is a bit unlevel on that side of the room. It dips down a little bit for about 2 ft and then levels back out again. Lord knows how we managed to keep a tree straight and erect last year in that exact same spot (the floor was unlevel last year as well) but we did.

Maybe this year the Christmas gods are against us?

So now our tree is a little bit trailer park. I have three paperback books stuck underneath the front of the stand (to level it out) and some fishing wire hugging it and attached to the wall.

It's lasted like this for one week and I hope it can stay that way for the rest of the season.

IMG00115-20101206-2114.jpg

For the sake of our marriage of course.

:)

8 comments:

Jessi said...

Wow that's quite the Christmas catastrophe! My parents used to have that problem with real trees...now they have a fake one. And so do I.

I hope (for the sake of your marriage) it doesn't fall over any more. ;)

Ashley said...

Oh my. This is too ironic! I hate Christmas trees and all of their crookedness as they grow. When I was younger, our tree fell down as well. However, it was at a time when there was an up and coming "gang" in our small town. I was so scared, I called my mom and thought someone had broke into our house and had knocked over the Christmas tree. I'll never forget it.

P.S. Good for you for "making it work".

Shaina said...

Oh no! We aren't getting a tree this year, and it makes me sad, but we aren't going to be around enough to make it worthwhile. Sads. Sniffles.

Nat said...

Ahh haha I'm sorry to laugh but that same thing happened to my parents many times!! We have a fake tree, I have a ton of allergies so that is how I get my fake tree, I grew up with real trees but the fake is just that much easier and my husband can't really fight with the allergy part, I mean it's a medical reason :)

Dancy said...

We have the fake tree argument as well. Ours is fake. I kinda hate it. I miss the real tree smell. I miss cleaning up after it, and the whole house smelling awesome when you walk in the door. And whoever said animals don't eat fake trees was full of it. Our kitty picks at that thing all the time - we have to lock her out of the room when we're not home.

You already used my suggestion - my Dad has 2 nails painted white (to blend into the trim) and nailed them into the wall - he then attaches some fishing wire to the tree so there's no accidents.

Nicole said...

I lost a lot of great ornaments by trees falling too. It is very sad!!!

Erica said...

I have a solution for you! Get a small hook and screw it into the ceiling above the tree and then tie the tip of the tree to it with some clear fishing line or really thin wire. Works like a charm!

hotpants™ said...

Isn't it great how your floor is unlevel exactly where you want to put the tree? Fun times.