The Truth about Life Post Delivery

I cannot believe that I'm going to write this.

This is TMI to the max.

If you are a guy, you should probably skip this post.

However, I'm going to share about this because NO ONE warned me about what happens AFTER delivery.

People warn you about the epidural, the contractions, the love you will immediately feel for your child, but no one prepares you for what is to come during the first few weeks at home.

For example-- remember how RAD it was that you didn't have your period for 10 months? Well, after you have a baby you have the equivalent of 10 periods in one day and this bloody mess can last for up to 6 weeks. I was warned to buy pads, but I didn't think I'd have to live in them for 4+ weeks. Seriously, do you know how appealing it is to use your sons diaper rash cream after you've lived in a pad for 28 days (that is a joke- I didn't actually use it)? TMI, I know. But I really wish that someone had warned me for just how bloody things would be following birth and delivery. Consider yourself warned soon to be mamas and invest in puppy pee pads (they seriously make you lay on them in the hospital the entire time you are there), depends and/or huge pads. Steal the mesh underwear and ask for more before you leave.

Another warning- Don't look down for a long time. A deflated baby bump is depressing and ugly. Your stomach will look and move like a jello jiggler. I didn't expect to look hot in the stomach area immediately following birth, but I was not expecting the sheer magnitude of the jiggliness.

Also, the baby blues. I heard about them, but that shit is no joke. I'm not a crier. Having a baby turned me into a crier. I cried fifty times a day for the first few weeks. I cried because John looked at me, I cried because John didn't look at me, I cried because I put on my seatbelt, I cried because I was eating cookies. I cried because I loved my son so incredibly much. I honestly thought I was on the fast track to crazy town. I am here to tell you that it does go away, and that I can get through a day without crying (WAHOO), but don't be surprised if you are an emotional mess after birth.

Child birth is no joke. If you weren't emotional about it it would be weird. Thankfully, childbirth amnesia is a real thing (and probably why no one warns you about the blood, ugly stomach and tears- they forgot about it). Nowadays, I tell my birth story with a huge goofy grin on my face and I'd do it again tomorrow!

Thank god for pregnancy amnesia.