Thursday, March 22, 2012

Back to Work

I've been back to work for a week and a day now. 
 
I'm happy to report that although I was absolutely certain that I would die from the pain of leaving my child, I'm alive and kicking and it's actually not as terrible as I was anticipating. 
 
I smile at least 50 times per work day and it's actually kind of nice to utilize that section of my brain that laid pretty dormant (if i'm being honest) for 18 weeks.  That being said, I still cry every single morning when I leave him and I do miss him like crazy.  I'm currently straddling a fine line in my life right now---  One where I feel so proud of myself that I'm managing it all okay and when I feel really good about how things are going and one where I just want to throw in the towel, actually consider scourging the internet trying to find out how I can qualify for food stamps and pick my baby up from daycare.
 
I have a feeling that I'll feel this way for the rest of time. I guess it's just part of being a mom. 
 

30 comments:

Ashley Marie said...

so glad to hear you are managing things! =) I have heard lots of moms say it is hard to go back to work and be away from your baby.

Wifey said...

That's awesome that you're doing so good. In the days before I came back to work I searched the Internet for all sorts of resources on SAHM jobs and personal health insurance since I'm the insurance carrier. It kind of consumed me for a few days.

Ms. Attitude said...

It's so great to hear that you are doing well! I am sure they missed you out in the "real" world, but that little boy is just too adorable to stay away from for long.

The Kings said...

good to hear, I am dreading it :(

USA Kiwi (Kylee) said...

It gets better I promise! I cried every day too, but then I just stopped. It wasn't that I didn't care, or that I didn't miss him, I just got better at dealing with it.

Now, the highlight of my day is the super huge grin on his face when I walk in the door to pick him up.

The snuffly little snuggle move he does under my chin, angling to get closer to his Mama.

The sigh he lets out when he's comfortable in my arms, snuggled in, like he's been waiting for me all day.

Helps me feel like I'm still his Mum, he still loves me best, and that I am still the one he prefers.

And then, there's the knowledge that he has a home to live in, clothes to wear, diapers to poop in - because I work to help provide these things.

Oh, and drinking a cup of coffee while it is still hot, lunch breaks, adult conversation, being forced to get dressed and join the outside world (and feeling good about myself) all helps too.

You are doing an awesome job! (Just don't expect to be perfect at both jobs, "good enough" is enough sometimes).

Having said that - my baby is sick (4 month shots didn't go well, plus a stomach bug)... and I'm blissfully on my couch, having a "day off".

If you are able to - take a day off once a month or so. Just to "be". Even if you send your baby to daycare anyway and go get a facial. Or scrub the bathroom, whatever. Or keep him with you and snuggle all day. That works too :)

Melissa said...

Glad you're doing well with going back to work!

Ashley said...

Aw glad to hear you're doing well! I'm sure that is no easy task. Hoping it gets easier for you!

Chris said...

Hi Ashley, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
http://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/

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