I've been back to work for a week and a day now.
I'm happy to report that although I was absolutely certain that I would die from the pain of leaving my child, I'm alive and kicking and it's actually not as terrible as I was anticipating.
I smile at least 50 times per work day and it's actually kind of nice to utilize that section of my brain that laid pretty dormant (if i'm being honest) for 18 weeks. That being said, I still cry every single morning when I leave him and I do miss him like crazy. I'm currently straddling a fine line in my life right now--- One where I feel so proud of myself that I'm managing it all okay and when I feel really good about how things are going and one where I just want to throw in the towel, actually consider scourging the internet trying to find out how I can qualify for food stamps and pick my baby up from daycare.
I have a feeling that I'll feel this way for the rest of time. I guess it's just part of being a mom.